IN MY DARKNESS HOURS: October 2014

Friday, October 31, 2014

Former Muslim helps Leading The Way viewers find new hope in Christ

Former Muslim helps Leading The Way viewers find new hope in Christ

By Peter Wooding
Europe Bureau Chief for ASSIST News Service
HEMEL HEMPSTEAD, UK (ANS) -- Ever since Leading The Way began broadcasting Christian programming to the Arab world through its 24/7 satellite TV channel THE KINGDOM SAT, something miraculous has been happening.

Rahim, a Leading The Way Follow-up Coordinator, engages in
discipleship training with a Syrian convert

Every week Muslim viewers are turning to Leading The Way's dedicated follow-up teams to find out how they can know more about Jesus.One such team member often ministering late into the night is Rahim*. Every week he corresponds with viewers from the Middle East and North Africa via Skype, Facebook, email, text messages, and in-person discipleship meetings, sharing the love of Christ with those who are hungry to know God's truth.
Some are Muslims who want to know more about the Christian faith, while others have made the dangerous decision to accept Jesus as their Saviour and are in need of spiritual support as they face extreme persecution.
Rahim has faced violent persecution himself and can identify with those who turn to him for help. He was a devoted Muslim until the power of Christian radio helped him find new hope in Christ.
"I was raised in a Muslim family and I was very dedicated to Islamic practices. My father was happy at this time, but I was empty inside," said Rahim.
He added: "One time when I was searching by radio, I listened to something that was talking about God, and afterwards I see this is Christian radio. This brought problems to me. For the first time I wanted more knowledge about Christianity.

Logo

"I began to research the Qur'an and compare between Christianity and Islam, and at this time my perspective to Christianity began to change. I began to understand how the Bible is the Word of God, how Jesus died on the cross about my sin. God is love. This [phrase] didn't exist in Islam. There is no guarantee in Islam to enter heaven, to have eternal life."Rahim first experienced persecution when he made the decision to accept Jesus in His life, as his own family reacted with violence.
"My father asked me, 'You are becoming Christian?' I said, 'Yes.' It was very terrible, like someone injured his heart. My family didn't accept this word 'Jesus is my Saviour', because they are in darkness. My father and my brother beat me."
But as these attacks began, Rahim said that something miraculous took place: "As they were hitting me as hard as they could, I prayed for them, and at this time I didn't feel anything because Jesus was with me.
"I forgive all of this persecution. If you are in the umbrella of God, the refuge of God, He will protect you. Now we have a peaceful relationship. They say they are seeing the word of God on my life. At this time I began to read the Bible more and more and I requested to study theology. Now I'm doing my Masters on Bible counselling and I serve the Lord in full-time ministry.
"I work for Leading The Way's follow up team and a lot of Arabic people contact me about faith. There are a lot of amazing stories from Saudi Arabia, from Mecca. I receive calls from Chad, New Zealand, Iraq, Jordan, Yemen, even from Romania."
As part of this follow-up ministry, Rahim seeks to connect these new converts to local churches, and through Leading The Way's Help The Persecuted ministry, many are given practical help from bedding and food supplies to vital grants for urgent medical or travel needs to be reunited with family members.
*Name has been changed for his protection.
About Leading The Way:
Now celebrating over 25 years of ministry, Leadin g The Way's television and radio programs are broadcast to more than 190 countries in over 24 languages. Leading The Way also produces DVDs, CDs, books, a monthly devotional magazine, and daily e-devotionals to spread the light of Christ. This Atlanta-based organization partners internationally with in-country follow-up teams to encourage new believers in their faith, helping God's Kingdom to grow around the world.
About Dr. Michael Youssef:

Dr. Michael Youssef

Michael Youssef, Ph.D., is the Founder and President of Leading The Way with Dr. Michael Youssef. Dr. Youssef was born in Egypt and lived in Lebanon and Australia before moving to the United States. In 1984, he fulfilled his childhood dream of becoming an American citizen. He holds degrees from Moore College in Sydney, Australia, and from Fuller Theological Seminary in California. In 1984, he earned a Ph.D. in social anthropology from Emory University. He has authored more than 29 books, including popular titles like "The Leadership Style of Jesus" and "Blindsided: The Radical Islamic Conquest." He and his wife reside in Atlanta and have four grown children and seven grandchildren.
To find out how you can support this ministry, go to their UK site at: www.leadingtheway.org.uk. Their address is: Leading The Way, PO Box 1066, Hemel Hempstead, HP2 7GQ, UK, and their phone number is: +44 (0) 800 432 0419.
Editor's Note:
< p>For media enquiries contact: Peter Wooding by phone at +44 7500 903067 or by e-mail at: peter@peterwoodingproductions.com

Friday, October 24, 2014

Resolving Unmet Expectations

Helpful Articles: Personal Issues

Young businessman checking mark on checklist with marker

By Ted Cunningham
Stress is the gap between what you expect and what you receive. Stress is a socially acceptable term for anger. Every pastor I know deals with “stress” from time to time. A vacation or sabbatical may relieve it, but won’t eliminate it. Changing churches may give you a fresh start, but it will resurface eventually. Leaving ministry will eliminate church “stress,” but it will happen in a new role too.
Here are three keys to realigning your expectations so you can persevere in ministry:
1. Bring Expectations to the Surface
Start by making a list of the expectations that you brought to your ministry or that you still have for ministry. Which of these expectations is farthest removed from the reality of your relationship with the board or congregation? Highlight a few of them. Then answer three questions for each one:

Do you need to change or adjust this expectation?
Is your expectation fair and reasonable?
If you express your expectation, will your elders or deacons find it reasonable?

The key here is to address one expectation at a time. When all expectations are clumped together, one grade is assigned. This is problematic. There is a reason you received a report card at school divided into math, reading, science, and physical education. You were graded on each individual class. Some of us did well in reading and writing but did poorly in math and science. Individual grades help us focus and place more energy where it needs to be directed without being overwhelmed. Bottom line: each of your expectations about ministry needs to be assigned its own individual category on your report card. Address them one at a time.
A recent cartoon shows a fourth-grade boy standing toe-to-toe and nose-to-nose with his teacher. Behind them stands a blackboard covered with math problems the boy hasn’t finished.
With rare perception the boy says, “I’m not an underachiever, you’re an overexpecter!”
You don’t want to be an underachiever or an overexpecter as it relates to ministry. As you address each expectation individually you will be able to strike a balance between unreasonable expectations and unhealthy reality.
2. Work on what you can change and release what you cannot change
Guess what you can change? You! You can change 100 percent of you and your expectations, but you cannot change all of your reality on your own. Start by answering the first question: Do I need to change or adjust my expectations? This is the first step as you address each individual expectation.
Which of your expectations are reasonable or unreasonable? Which are based on biblical truth and which are not? How many expectations have you placed on your own shoulders that not one single person on your board or in your congregation has for you?
Remember, you are responsible for your expectations in the relationship. You may need to approach some people and share that you have expected too much of them. This may include staff, elders or family members. Are you expecting too much of volunteers? I regularly remind myself that volunteers are not paid so I should not expect full-time employment out of them.
Remember, people are not your source of life. Jesus is your source. Don’t ask others to take His place and fill you up. Jesus is an unlimited supply. The people in your life are limited supplies.
Letting others off the hook will change the atmosphere of your church and home. Not only will you walk more lightly, but so will those who love you and follow you.
What expectations do you need to release?
3. Align Your Expectations and Reality
The goal is that you will be able to create new, realistic, and biblical expectations for the future. Your spouse, children and congregation need this. You need this.
In the midst of addressing the gap between our expectations and our present reality, the serenity prayer reminds us that we do not need to be in control of everything around us, including people, places, and things:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen.
–Reinhold Niebuhr

The key to resolving these unmet expectations is to not adjust the behaviors of others but rather take personal responsibility for your own expectations. It’s the gap between what we expect and what we experience that drains our energy. To reduce the stress in our lives, we can make a list of all of our recalled expectations and start figuring out how to minimize the “gap” between our expectations and reality. Then our experience will be closer to what we anticipated, and as a result we’ll be stronger and more content. That bolsters our ability to keep on loving, giving and serving. Unless we talk about those things and bring our expectations to the surface, our family and friends may not know our desires, and we may find ourselves facing an energy-sapping gap between our desires and our reality.
As you begin to understand God’s expectation for you and your ministry, His Spirit will convict you of unrealistic expectations and reveal areas that require change. Remember, you cannot change others. But God gives you the power to change yourself. You need to trust and believe that God works in the lives of others to grow and change them in ways you cannot.
Copyright © 2014 by Ted Cunningham. Used by permission.

Ted Cunningham is the founding pastor of Woodland Hills Family Church. He married Amy in 1996 and now live in Branson, MO with their two children, Corynn and Carson. Ted is the author of Fun Loving You, Trophy Child and Young and In Love and coauthor of four books with Dr. Gary Smalley.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

You Can't Have it All, At Least Not All At Once

Fall is the middle, a shifting. Each brilliant leaf lazily drifting down is a reminder--although I don't care to be reminded, thank you very much--that winter is coming and, with winter, barrenness and stillness and cold. Or as a friend recently reminded me, "Fall is actually a beautiful death." Then, after the earth lies dormant, we will beg, under layers of scarves and coats, to see the little sprouts on trees that announce spring is coming.

After growing up in a place with two seasons (blazing hot and a month or two of sort-of cold), I love living in a place with four distinct seasons. I remember as a child browsing my mom's Land's End catalog and wondering who really wore all those heavy winter coats and snow boots. It seemed like a magical, far-off place. And I now live in that place, a real-life Land's End catalog!

Four seasons means I've had to learn the necessity of salting our driveway and the art of wearing scarves. We make the annual trek to the apple orchard and enjoy being outside in the not-blazing-hot summer before the hibernation of winter.

I love the seasons because they break up the monotony, but also because they have taught me so much about life. They've taught me this most of all:

You can't have it all, at least not all at once. There are seasons for everything under heaven, but you can't have the tulips when it's the leaves' turn to show off. You can't force the trees to sprout when snow is climbing up their trunks.

We can't have it all, at least not all at once. To believe otherwise is to run ourselves ragged, spinning wheels but never getting anywhere, and definitely not getting anywhere with any semblance of joy. To believe otherwise is to go against nature, the very nature that speaks to the character and activity of God.

There will be seasons of fruitfulness and seasons of barrenness.

There will be seasons of beautiful, blossoming new life and seasons of beautiful suffering.

There will be seasons when we are filled and able to give and seasons when we are empty and need to receive.

There will be seasons when God appears to be living and breathing everywhere and seasons that are dry and quiet under His watchful care.

There will be seasons when He says yes and seasons when He says no.

There will be seasons when His love feels like delight and seasons when His love feels like discipline.

And what is our response? The response is what I'm really thinking about. Our response of obedience--a yes to God--often means a no to a million other little things. We can't have it all, at least not all at once. Sometimes that feels like the beginning of summer--freeing and warm and wildly satisfying. But sometimes that feels like the tail end of fall--little deaths like each leaf fluttering in the wind. It requires faith that, in the barrenness and stillness, God is preparing a new season of fruitfulness. We must wait. And we must rejoice in the season we're in, not wish for what's next.

Friday, October 17, 2014

Mothering When Life Gets Hard

by Kara Tippetts

My husband had, countless times in his sermons, challenged me with the question, What will you do in the mundane days of faithfulness? My life often felt ordinary and mundane, but this quote reminded me, encouraged me that my days certainly did matter. The living I did behind closed doors made a difference in the life of my family. The love I was investing in the quiet mom moments mattered.
Then one day in a small room without windows, three words changed my world: You have cancer. And in that terrible awful, I saw all those little moments become my giant moments, and the time spent next to my little ones as the biggest and best moments of my life. They were not simply minutes to get through, but they were the grace that Jesus had delivered to me. My life suddenly felt far from mundane. And I wondered how I would live seeking grace and loving my family as I entered treatment and met the bottom of myself. Could I expect God in His grace to carry me through, and could I still live in faith and kindness behind closed doors?
Through my season of battling cancer, I've learned that the hard in life is not the absence of God's goodness — it is often what Jesus uses to draw me to himself. I'm learning to lean on God and His faithfulness.
My hard in life is cancer and I have prayed throughout my journey that it would draw me closer to God. You may not be living in the same hard, but I'm convinced that all mothers are intimately acquainted with hard. We understand sleepless nights, financial pressures and struggles in sibling relationships. And in the midst of it all, we're called as mothers to faithfully shepherd, to minister to the hearts of our children.
You may find yourself in the endless cycle of bath time, laundry and feeding, and you may not see the gift of those little moments. You may be fighting for faithfulness in the small moments of today. I can now say that the time, the energy and the effort I spent investing in my family during my healthy years provided the connection and grace to get us through the hard moments today.
So how can your laundry be an expression of love and service rather than a chore that simply wearies you? How can you live looking for grace in your day today? And when the hard comes, will you love your family even at the bottom of yourself, or will you grow bitter? Grace will be provided for that hard day, but it takes strength and humility to look for that grace when all is well. The practice of looking for grace today will prepare you to look for grace when suffering comes. So live in faith. Love big — from God's abundant overflow. Build relationships, look for grace and pray for eyes to see Jesus even when it gets hard (1 Peter 5:10).
Kara Tippetts is a blogger, pastor's wife and author of The Hardest Peace: Expecting grace in the midst of life's hard.

Friday, October 10, 2014

An Inspirational Message For All Leaders Who Feel Tired, Defeated, Depressed Or Out Of Options

As a leader, are you tired? Do you feel defeated? Beaten down? Do you feel under the weight of the leadership challenge? Are you facing discouragement or depression. Does it feel like you are out of options?
If so, I have a gift for you. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets team chaplain Derrick Moore gives as inspirational a pre-game speech as you will ever hear. If you are feeling down, few things will inspire you more. By the way, after the speech the Yellow Jackets beat the Miami Hurricanes 28-17 before 52,221 fans at Bobby Dodd Stadium last Saturday night.

Here is a transcript of his incredible speech:
“There’s nothing like family. At the end of the day when the sun sets that’s all you have. Ultimately that’s all you need.
(It’s) about your brothers, bleed and sweat together. Fought through summer. All the lifting and running for moments like these because you don’t ever get them back.
Thank you guys for your heart and soul because that’s what you’re going to put into it tonight. And you’re going to do it for the guy on your left and the guy to your right cause that’s all that matters.
Guy to your left. Guy to your right. You know what time it is. It’s time to turn the Yellow Jackets loose. We didn’t come hear to play around. We came to take care of business.
We start with the abilities the coaches have passed down to you. Let every man take his assignment seriously. Let him go out with confidence. Let him handle every moment.
Let him stand in the face of the challenger and don’t retreat. Empower these men to do what they came here to do. And we’ll sing in the end, ‘We’re gonna fight till we can’t fight no more.”

Two Realities of Burnout and Ministry

By Scott Couchenour

The first reality is that we live in an unprecedented era of incredible resources. Information is literally at our fingertips. I google the word “stress” and get 191,000,000 hits in 0.08 seconds. On the first page of results, I can learn what good stress is; what bad stress is; how to avoid stress that causes physical ailments; what diet does to contribute to stress; and on and on.
The second reality is we see ominous statistics of widespread burnout and depression among clergy and other ministry leaders. We read the statistics. Pastors are having affairs. Ministry leaders are hitting the wall and exiting the ministry prematurely. Some are battling depression.
So, the problem is not a lack of resources. If resources were the answer, 191,000,000 hits would be more than enough to tackle the problem many pastors face in ministry.
I believe the gap between the resources and the ailments can be filled through resourcing and coaching; through accountability networks and peer groups; through consistent Bible study and adequate rest. The drum must be consistently beat: “Yeah Ministry! Boo Burnout!”
It’s important to make the distinction between “burnout” and “burn”. The old hymn, “Let Me Burnout For Thee” is greatly misunderstood. It’s one thing to give your all to God’s call on your life. It’s quite another to give it without resting and replenishing. Proper “burn” requires rhythm – a swing from exertion of energy and a swing back to rest, then back to ministry, and back to rest again.
This concept can be wrapped up in what someone once said: “We don’t rest from our work, we work from our rest.” This means we place a premium on rest so that we are able to give our all when God needs us.

Scott Couchenour

Scott Couchenour is a certified life coach and founder of Serving Strong, a resourcing and coaching service to ministry leaders. Serving Strong exists to eliminate burnout from the ministry equation. He is also VP of Operations for Cogun, Inc., a company that helps churches expand their ministry facilities through consulting, design coordination, and construction. Scott flies around in an empty nest in Ohio with his wife of over 26 years. He has two grown children. Scott believes in the local church and pursues a God-given passion to enable pastors to serve strong. You can visit Scott's website at www.servingstrong.com and follow him on Twitter. Follow @servingstrong

Four Big Mistakes that Lead to Ministry Burnout

By Rick Warren

One of the issues that we sometimes address here at pastors.com is the issue of ministry burnout. And when we do address it, the responses are overwhelming. It’s a big issue. Why do so many Pastors burn out in ministry? It’s because of faulty thinking. Our thinking controls our emotions and our emotions control the way we act.
The problem is, when we’re at an emotional low, we typically make four common mistakes. Next week I want to talk about how to overcome these emotions and prevent burnout, but today I want you to become aware of four of the most threatening internal causes of burnout in ministry.

Mistake #1: We focus on our feelings rather than the facts.

Emotional reasoning is dangerous. Emotional reasoning says, “If I feel it, it must be so.” If I feel like a failure, I am a failure. If I don’t feel close to God, I must not be close to God. If I feel like a lousy pastor, I must be a lousy pastor. The fact is, feelings are not always facts. Your feelings will tell you that you’re helpless and hopeless, but those feelings aren’t rooted in truth.

Mistake #2: We compare ourselves to others.

When we are emotionally drained, we start comparing ourselves. The Bible warns against this over and over again. When you start comparing yourself to other people you are setting yourself up for depression. Everybody’s different. Everybody’s unique. Only you can be you. When you get to heaven, God is not going to say, “How come you weren’t more like Billy Graham?” or “How come you weren’t more like Moses?” or “How come you weren’t more like…?”
He’s really going to say, “How come you weren’t more like you?” We get emotionally burnt out because we start comparing ourselves. When we compare ourselves we compare our weaknesses with other people’s strengths. We ignore the fact that they have weaknesses that we may be strong in. We make comparisons that get us into all kinds of trouble.

Mistake #3: We blame ourselves for things that aren’t our fault.

We tend to blame ourselves and when we’re feeling emotionally low we tend to blame all of the world’s problems on ourselves. If you get in a helping profession like counseling or pastoring or social work, you’re going to discover that the people don’t always respond the way you’d like them to respond. You can influence people but you cannot control them. Yet we tend to blame ourselves when others make choices we don’t approve of or don’t understand.

Mistake #4: We exaggerate the negative.

Have you noticed the fact that when you’re discouraged, everything seems to be wrong? When your life becomes filled with fear and resentment and low self-esteem and anger and loneliness and worry, you’re headed for burnout. Then, if you focus on your feelings, and you compare yourself to others, and you accept responsibility for everybody else, and you exaggerate the negative, you’re only going to make matters worse.
Catch next week’s article for steps to reverse and heal from burnout in your life and ministry!
photo credit: Kelly Sikkema via CreationSwap

Rick Warren

Rick Warren is the founding pastor of Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, Calif., one of America's largest and most influential churches. Rick is author of the New York Times bestseller The Purpose Driven Life. His book, The Purpose Driven Church, was named one of the 100 Christian books that changed the 20th century. He is also founder of Pastors.com, a global Internet community for pastors.

Four Steps to Reversing Ministry Burnout

By Rick Warren

I wrote last week about four big mistakes that lead to ministry burnout. One thing I love about the Bible is that it doesn’t just give us the causes of our problems in life. It gives us cures. When Elijah faced burnout in his ministry, God helped him do four things that are just as applicable to our lives today as they were in Elijah’s era.
If you are discouraged and on the verge of burnout, you’re depressed, or you’ve got the “blah’s”, and you want to be like Elijah and just run away from the responsibilities in your life, then you need to do these four things.

Step #1: Rest your body.

Relax. Take care of your physical needs. That’s the first thing you do when you’re getting emotionally burned out. When Elijah was at the point of burnout, the Bible says, “Then Elijah lay down under the tree and he fell asleep. All at once after a while the angel touched him and said, ‘Get up and eat’ and he looked around and by his head there was a cake of bread baked and hot coals and a jar of water and he ate it and drank it and he lay down again. Then the angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, ‘Get up and eat for the journey is too much for you.’ So he got up and ate and drank again. And strengthened by that food he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mount of God.” (1 Kings 19:5-8)
It’s interesting to me that when Elijah started having a pity party and started contemplating suicide and started saying, “God, I just want to die!” that God did not scold Elijah. He did not add to his guilt. God’s remedy, step one, was to have Elijah to eat, then sleep, then eat and sleep some more. Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is go to bed. It’s amazing how a good night’s rest will do wonders for your attitude. Weariness and fatigue promotes depression and getting in shape is an excellent preventative to emotional burnout. You will be a lot stronger spiritually if you’re physically strong. Relax. Rest your body.

Step #2: Release your frustrations.

Pray about it. Tell it to God. Get it off your chest. Complain to the Lord. Confess it to God. Spill your guts. Share with God what you don’t like.
God said to Elijah in v. 9, “What’s bugging you? What are you bothered about?” Elijah let him have it, “Then he went into a cave and spent the night and the word of the Lord came to him, ‘What are you doing here Elijah?’ Elijah replied, ‘I’ve been very zealous for the Lord … “ and he tells God how he feels.
God let him complain until he was out of words. God did not interrupt him. God did not criticize him. God is not shocked when you complain, when you say, “God, I think my job stinks!” or “God, I don’t like the fact that I’ve had poor health.” God is listening. God was letting him get it off his chest. There’s a spiritual catharsis, a cleansing. And it always helps to have a Christian friend to talk to.

Step #3: Refocus on God.

Take your eyes off the problem and get a fresh awareness of what God wants to do in your life. God took Elijah outside. “Come outside the cave, Elijah. I’ve got something I want you to see.” And God put on a production. It was unbelievable. Verse 11 says, “God said, ‘Go out and stand in the mountain in the presence of the Lord for I’m about to pass by.’ Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord. But the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.” God put on one fantastic light show. There’s thunder and lightening, earthquakes, and rocks are splitting apart. It’s unbelievable, but God spoke to him in a whisper.
Isn’t that typical? God rarely speaks to us in the dramatic ways as when all of a sudden you feel the Lord’s presence and get a word from God. No, most of the time God speaks to us is in the quietness, sitting still, praying, reading the Bible, sitting out by a quiet lake and just being quiet before the Lord. It is then that He’ll plant an idea, an inspiration. God reminded Elijah that he was right there, that He hadn’t gone away, that He was there beside him, and He said, “Just be quiet. Realize I’m here with you.”

Step #4: Recommit your life to God.

Recommit your life to God’s purpose. Let God give you a new direction, a new purpose, a new job, a new career if need be, a new ministry. The Bible says in verse 15, “Then the Lord said to Elijah, ‘Go back the way you came.'” He said, “Get back to work Elijah, go to this city and anoint this man to be the king.” He gave him a project, a job.
The quickest way to defeat your depression is to get involved in the needs of other people. Start a ministry. Find a place to give yourself away. As you give yourself away, God gives to you and you become a channel. The happiest people in the world are those who help other people. God gave Elijah a new job to do which would help other people.
Some of you are struggling with depression. You look like you’ve got iron poor blood. Maybe you didn’t feel like getting up and out of bed this morning. Maybe some of you are having a hard time making decisions. You just don’t know what to do. That’s a symptom of burnout when you can’t make decisions anymore — you’re not decisive. Maybe you feel like everybody’s against you and you’re gloomy and it seems like the world is falling apart. Maybe you’re trapped — trapped in a job you don’t like or trapped in a relationship you can’t stand and you don’t know what to do. You’re constantly tired. You have no energy. Maybe you feel like running away like Elijah did.
I have good news for you. Jesus Christ says there is hope. There is a way out. You don’t have to stay depressed. God can help you through it if you’ll take these steps. You’re not alone. God cares about you and so do the people in your church. You can change with God’s help.
photo credit: javi.velazquez

Rick Warren

How to Beat Pastoral Burnout

By Rick Warren

Ministry is a marathon – not a 50-yard dash. It’s tough. You’re in an invisible war where all kinds of forces are conspiring to keep you from doing what God wants you to do.
A few years back I made a list of young pastors in America that I needed to be praying for – like others had prayed for me when I was young. Today, more than half of the young pastors on that list are no longer in ministry—either they had financial problems, marital problems, or just got tired and gave up.
Pastor, we need for you to last in ministry.
The story of Elijah’s ministry burnout in Kings 19 gives us some great insights into how the cause and cures of our own burnout.
No doubt you’re familiar with the story. Elijah had challenged the 400 prophets of Baal to prove who was real: Baal or God. And, of course, God won the contest! Everyone in the nation turned back to God.
You’d think Elijah would be on a high after that. But he wasn’t. Ministry successes can drain you just as fast as ministry failures. When Queen Jezebel heard about what happened, she threatened Elijah’s life. Rather than being emboldened by this great ministry success and the revival of the nation, Elijah got so scared he ran to the other side of the desert, hid in a cave and asked God to kill him.
Elijah’s story gives us four signs of ministry burnout.
1 – We depreciate our worth. “Take my life for I’m not better than my fathers.” (I Kings 19:4, HCSB) Like Elijah, when we start telling ourselves we have no value, it’s a sign we’re burned out. Notice how Elijah compares himself with others. When you start comparing your accomplishments, your talents, or even your pain or problems with others, you’re headed down the wrong road.
You are your own worst critic. If you talked to other people in the same way you talk to yourself, you wouldn’t have any friends.
2 – We underrate our ministry. “Lord God Almighty, I have always served you—you alone. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed all your prophets. I am the only one left—and they are trying to kill me!” (1 Kings 19:10, NIV) Elijah starts berating himself for things that aren’t his fault. The nation of Israel was crumbling around him, and Elijah took it personally.
Trying to control everything – as if you’re holding your church together by yourself – will have disastrous results. Truth is, it’s not up to you to make the world work. God never intended for you to carry that kind of burden. You’re not responsible for anyone else’s response. You’re responsible for proclaiming the truth and leading people the best you can – but not the responses of others. You are only responsible for your own response. You’re responsible to teach God’s truth but not what they do with it.
3 – We exaggerate our problems. “I am the only one left—and they are trying to kill me!” 1 Kings 19:10. NIV) Elijah said he was the only one left trying to do what was right, but that just wasn’t true. The nation had just experienced a revival, but Elijah’s view was distorted.
Never make a major decision when you’re depressed, discouraged or tired. It’ll be the wrong decision! When you’re on empty, you inevitably don’t have a clear view of reality. Elijah was so drained from being in the midst of a spiritual high that he couldn’t see the situation clearly. The whole nation wasn’t against him. It was one woman who made an empty promise!
Dig into God’s Word. You can’t focus on your emotions. The Bible doesn’t say that your emotions will set you free. It says the Truth will set you free. The more you know the truth, the freer you will be.
4 – We abdicate our dreams. “’I have had enough, Lord,’ he said. ‘ Take my life.’” (1 Kings 19:4) When you get depleted of energy, you start shrinking your dreams to the size of your remaining energy. You lose your vision and forfeit your goals. This is the most destructive sign of burnout because when you lose your dreams, you lose hope. You want to give up.
Don’t you dare give up. Don’t give up on your family, on your church, on your dream or on your life.
Fortunately, the Bible doesn’t just tell us the causes of burnout. It tells us the cures as well! To get out of burnout and back on the road to recovery, you need to do the four things that Elijah did in this story.

Recharge. (1 Kings 19:5-8) God’s first prescription for Elijah’s burnout isn’t a sermon, confession or a lecture. He lets him eat and sleep. You need this, too. Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is take a nap. Vince Lombardi once said, “Fatigue makes cowards of us all.” You need a day off. In fact, if you’re not taking a day off every week, you’re breaking one of the 10 commandments.

Release your frustrations. (1 Kings 19: 9-19) God can handle your frustrations. When you take it to other people, that’s gossip. When you take it to God, that’s worship. Complaining to God can be an act of worship because you’re telling God you trust Him with your feelings. Twice during this passage God encourages Elijah to tell Him what’s on his heart. God isn’t shocked when you complain. If you’re feeling down and depressed, tell it to God. It also helps to tell at least one other person. You need a spiritual confidant or a small group where you can unload.

Refocus on God. (1 Kings 19:11) Get your eyes off of your problem and onto God. Get alone with Him. God loved Elijah so much he sent a multi-media presentation to Him. He sent a hurricane wind, an earthquake, and a firestorm – until God finally spoke through a soft whisper. God showed his power and lets him know that He is in control. You need to relax. The root of all of your burnout is trying to be God. Whenever I start getting burned out, I get alone with God and focus on Him instead of my problems.

Resume serving others. (1 Kings 19:15-16) God gave Elijah a new assignment. He wasn’t done with him. And He isn’t done with you either. You’ve got to start thinking of someone other than yourself. The quickest way to defeat depression is to get involved in helping other people.

Some days you may not feel like getting out of bed. If you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired, follow these steps. This is God’s recovery plan.

Rick Warren

Poll: Many Pastors Feel Lonely, Discouraged

By David Roach

Though almost all pastors feel privileged to be in ministry, a majority also experience loneliness and discouragement.
That is the finding of a new survey by LifeWay Research of 1,000 American Protestant pastors.
NASHVILLE, Tenn. (BP) — A full 98 percent agree with the statement, “I feel privileged to be a pastor,” with 93 percent strongly agreeing. Only about 0.5 percent of pastors disagree with the statement.
Yet more than half (55 percent) also agree with the statement, “I find that it is easy to get discouraged,” and 55 percent say being in pastoral ministry makes them feel lonely at times.
“Many oft-quoted statistics speak of miserable and unhappy pastors, but that’s not what we see when we actually ask them,” explained Ed Stetzer, vice president of research and ministry development at LifeWay Christian Resources. “There is discouragement and loneliness, but when 98 percent agree it is a privilege to be a pastor, we also know there is a great honor to being a pastor.”
Pastors 65 and older are the least discouraged age bracket. While 30 percent of those 65 and older strongly disagree that it is easy to get discouraged in ministry, only 19 percent ages 55-64 strongly disagree along with 13 percent ages 45-54 and 11 percent ages 18-44.
Pastors 65 and older are also most likely to strongly disagree (39 percent) with the statement, “Pastoral ministry makes me feel lonely at times.” Twenty-nine percent of those ages 55-64 strongly disagree, as well as 21 percent ages 45-54 and 19 percent ages 18-44.
Ironically, pastors of larger churches are lonelier. Of those in congregations with average attendance of 250 or more, 17 percent strongly disagree that pastoral ministry makes them feel lonely at times. By comparison, 32 percent with churches of 0-49 and 27 percent with churches of 100-249 strongly disagree.
“Pastors feel privileged, but clearly the reality of constant service can take its toll,” Stetzer said. “There is discouragement and loneliness in ministry. It appears that the larger the church the more present the loneliness.”
The survey had good news for the families of ministers: Nearly eight in 10 pastors (79 percent) disagree with the statement, “Being in ministry has had a negative effect on my family.” A majority (58 percent) strongly disagree. Twenty percent somewhat disagree, 15 percent somewhat agree and 4 percent strongly agree.
“This statistic has to be one of the biggest surprises,” said Stetzer, who has also served as a pastor. “Pastoring can be stressful on a family, but contrary to some hyped statistics, most do not believe that being a pastor has hurt their family.
“Pastoring is difficult, and family life is a fishbowl, but overstating the challenge and dangers of pastoring can discourage pastors and create an expectation of family disruption — leading to that very problem,” he said.
Pastors in the South (63 percent) are more likely to strongly disagree that ministry has had a negative effect on their families than their counterparts in the Northeast (51 percent) or Midwest (54 percent).
The study found that 18 percent of pastors have more than 10 close friends in their congregation. Sixteen percent have six to 10, 38 percent have three to five, 10 percent have two and 4 percent have one. Twelve percent of pastors have no close friends in their congregation.
“Relationships matter and it appears that pastors value those friendship — particularly as they get older,” Stetzer said. “Older pastors — and I would add, younger pastors with wisdom — have developed more close friendships within their church and are less likely to be discouraged or lonely. This combination mirrors workplace studies that have shown that more friendships at work correspond with higher satisfaction with a person’s job and life.”
The phone survey was conducted Aug. 17-24.
Recently on the pastors.com blog –

The Kind of Friend Every Pastor Needs

No Lone Ranger Ministry Allowed

David Roach

David Roach is a pastor and writer in Shelbyville, Ky.

Hurting Pastors Need Our Prayers

By Larry Barker

In 2 Cor. 11:28-30, Paul said, “Beside those things that are without, that which cometh upon me daily, the care of all the churches. Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is offended, and I burn not? If I must needs glory, I will glory of the things which concern mine infirmities.” Tom Rainer, President of Lifeway, recently shared a survey given to pastors about two primary sources of personal struggle in the ministry. It proves that the challenges of the pastorate today are real and need to be admitted so that they might be addressed and resolved. “Not all the news about pastors is discouraging. Pastors feel privileged to be called to their places of ministry. They have a deep love for those they shepherd. Most of them could not conceive of doing anything else. But please hear me: Many pastors are hurting.
The Discouragement Factor: One of the key symptoms of the pain experienced by pastors is discouragement. Over one-half (55%) of pastors are presently discouraged. I suspect that if we surveyed pastors over just a few months, we would find that almost all of them experience deep discouragement. Some interesting facts we discovered in our study:

There was no pattern of discouragement related to the geographical location of the church.
There was no pattern of discouragement related to the size of the church.
There was no pattern of discouragement related to the educational level of the pastor.
There was a significant pattern of discouragement related to the age of the pastor. The younger the pastor, the more likely he was to be discouraged.

The Loneliness Factor: Most pastors experience intense loneliness at times. When we conducted our survey, over one-half again (coincidentally the same number, 55%, as noted above) said they were lonely. Again remember that this survey was for a specific point in time. Which pastors experience the greatest amount of loneliness? Our study noted some discernible patterns:

There was no pattern of loneliness related to the geographical location of the church.
Younger pastors were more likely to be lonely than older pastors.
The larger the church, the greater the likelihood that the pastor was experiencing loneliness.
The greater the education level of the pastor, the more likely he is to be lonely.

Why the Pervasive Discouragement and Loneliness?” Rainer in an earlier blog offered the following as reasons pastors are struggling today and some are experiencing depression: spiritual warfare, unrealistic expectations, greater platforms for critics, failure to take time away from the church or place of ministry, workaholism, marriage and family problems, neglecting his family as he cares for the larger church family, financial strains, the problem of comparison. Rainer went on to say, “This one thing I do know. Pastors need our prayers more than ever. They need our support and encouragement. I am committed to pray for my pastor every day, even if it’s only for a minute or so. Will you do the same? Our pastors pour out their lives for us daily. What can you do to help our pastors?”
Allow me to recommend to you, Leading on Empty by Wayne Cordeiro.

Larry Barker

Larry Barker serves as Director of North American Missions for the Baptist Missionary Association of America. He has a passion to see hundreds of BMAA churches planted throughout the USA and Canada, and has also served as a missionary to Romania. You can connect with him on Facebook or

Pastors Are Hurting, Discourage, Lonely

By Thom S. Rainer

Photo by VinothChandar.

Not all the news about pastors is discouraging. Pastors feel privileged to be called to their places of ministry. They have a deep love for those they shepherd. Most of them could not conceive of doing anything else.
But please hear me: Many pastors are hurting.
LifeWay Research conducted a national survey of Protestant pastors. Among the questions they asked were two related to the hurts I noted above.
The Discouragement Factor
One of the key symptoms of the pain experienced by pastors is discouragement. Over one-half (55%) of pastors are presently discouraged. I suspect that if we surveyed pastors over just a few months, we would find that almost all of them experience deep discouragement.
Some interesting facts we discovered in our study:

There was no pattern of discouragement related to the geographical location of the church.
There was no pattern of discouragement related to the size of the church.
There was no pattern of discouragement related to the educational level of the pastor.
There was a significant pattern of discouragement related to the age of the pastor. The younger the pastor, the more likely he was to be discouraged.

The Loneliness Factor
Most pastors experience intense loneliness at times. When we conducted our survey, over one-half again (coincidentally the same number, 55%, as noted above) said they were lonely. Again remember that this survey was for a specific point in time.
Which pastors experience the greatest amount of loneliness? Our study noted some discernible patterns:

There was no pattern of loneliness related to the geographical location of the church.
Younger pastors were more likely to be lonely than older pastors.
The larger the church, the greater the likelihood that the pastor was experiencing loneliness.
The greater the education level of the pastor, the more likely he is to be lonely.

Why the Pervasive Discouragement and Loneliness?
Why are so many pastors struggling today? In an earlier article I wrote on pastoral depression, I noted the following possible reasons:

Spiritual warfare. The Enemy does not want God’s servants to be effective in ministry. He will do whatever it takes to hurt ministers and their ministries.
Unrealistic expectations. The expectations and demands upon a pastor are enormous. They are unrealistic. But if one person’s expectations are not met, that person can quickly let the pastor know that he is a failure.
Greater platforms for critics. In “the good old days,” a critic was typically limited to telephone, mail, and in-person meetings to criticize a minister. Today the critics have the visible and pervasive platforms of email, blogs, and social media such as Facebook and Twitter.
Failure to take time away from the church or place of ministry. Workaholism leads to burnout. Burnout leads to depression.
Marriage and family problems. Too often the pastor neglects his family as he cares for the larger church family.
Financial strains. Many pastors simply do not have sufficient income from the churches they serve. That financial stress can lead to depression. Some pastors do not know how to manage the money they do have, leading to further financial strain.
The problem of comparison. Every pastor will always know of a church that is larger and more effective. Every pastor will always know of another pastor who seems more successful. The comparison game can be debilitating to some pastors.

This one thing I do know. Pastors need our prayers more than ever. They need our support and encouragement. I am committed to pray for my pastor every day, even if it’s only for a minute or so. Will you do the same? Our pastors pour out their lives for us daily. What can you do to help our pastors?
LifeWay Research contacted 1,000 Protestant pastors across the United States by telephone. The calling list was randomly drawn from a list of all Protestant churches. Up to six calls were made to reach each sampled phone number. Each interview was conducted with the senior or solo pastor or equivalent position. Responses were weighted to reflect geographical distribution of Protestant churches. The sample provides 95% confidence that the sampling error does not exceed +/- 3.2%. Margins of error are higher for sub-groups.
Pastor to Pastor is the Saturday blog series at ThomRainer.com. Pastors and staff, if we can help in any way, contact Steve Drake, our director of pastoral relations, at Steve.Drake@LifeWay.com. We also welcome contacts from laypersons in churches asking questions about pastors, churches, or the pastor search process.

Thom S. Rainer

Thom S. Rainer is president of LifeWay Christian Resources. This column first appeared at ThomRainer.com.