Learning to Say No

Learning to Say No

by Graham Cooke www.GrahamCooke.com

The most difficult part of resting in the Lord is learning to say one simple two-letter word: “No.” I have had to learn how to say no. For every ministry invitation I accept, I turn down ten or eleven. I have to say no, because I know what I am called to be and do. If an event doesn’t fit with God’s vision for my life—no matter how attractive the event is—I have to turn it down. God has told me to work in a number of specific countries right now: if I receive an invitation from a different nation, I have to say no. I just can’t go. I know God’s parameters for me.
Rushing and productivity have no connection. The issue for us is what we lose when we rush, not what we gain. I could go on a mad dash and spend 350 days a year on the road ministering, but it isn’t right. Hurrying exhausts us, decreases our efficiency, and produces a lack of quality in what we do.
By saying no, I have had the opportunity to rest and reflect on what God wants to do next. Revival—contrary to our belief that it is an event that happens where people get saved—is actually about having an extended peace so the work of the Gospel can go on unhindered. When we bring peace to our churches and neighborhoods, the work of the enemy decreases.
A few years ago, the Lord told me that I should spend a year only doing three kinds of events. These events were ones I had plenty of material for; I didn’t need to study for them. Instead, the Lord had me spend that year meditating, studying, and writing about what He wanted to do next. When invitations came in that didn’t fit the three types of events He wanted me to do, I turned them down. My job that year was to study who God is and who He wants to be for me. Rushing or saying yes to things would have robbed me of that revelation. My relationship with Him was upgraded wonderfully that year—so much so I wish I could have that every year!
Saying no is just one way to increase rest. How many of us take time for ourselves? Silence and stillness must be practiced—we all need times of solitary confinement with God to practice our peace.
Sometimes it’s good to just sit back and reflect on our journey with God. Where have we come from? What have we walked through? Where are we going? To do this, we need to slow down. We have to let other people get in line ahead of us. We need to eat slowly. We need to leave our watch at home. We must think before we speak and learn to listen without formulating a reply. It is vital that we learn how to step back into God and enjoy our Prince of Peace.
Patience is a virtue we need to develop, especially when we are about to birth something new spiritually. It takes time to grow; we have to sort through all of the things that are thrown at us and discover what exactly God is calling us to. We have to wade through everything and wait. My suggestion for people in a season of birth or upgrade is to write out a prayer for patience and pray it every day. In the midst of crisis, it is difficult to pray spontaneously because our requests of God shift with the pressure we feel in the heat of the moment. But if we have written out a prayer that asks God for a specific thing—patience—we can be faithful to what God wants to do.
In my greatest seasons of birth, I have written out a patience prayer, laminated it, and put it in my wallet so I could access it anytime, anywhere. I would pray that prayer fifteen times a day and found myself becoming more patient every time I did it. The Holy Spirit calls patience up in us when we ask for it.
When I am waiting on God, I run through exercises to grow my spiritual life. Choosing three friends I can bless. What country can I pray for? What are six things I love about my life right now? What are my greatest dreams for my children? What can I pray to bless the person who just passed me in the fast lane? I am a person who wants to wait in a positive way.
Waiting is a wonderful gift, if we choose to embrace it.